The Gift of Documentation

“Documentation is a gift to your future self.” – Anonymous

Scale of Intelligence Levels

  1. God-like – Able to change inputs and outputs
  2. Intuitive – Able to predict a sequence of outputs with missing inputs.
  3. Intelligent – Able to recognize the pattern of inputs even with missing inputs.
  4. Sentient – Able to recognize a sequence of inputs.
  5. Algorithmic – Able to activate the correct outputs in the correct sequence for a given input in the correct sequence.
  6. Logical – Able to activate the correct outputs for a given input.
  7. Moron – Unable to activate the correct outputs in the correct sequence for a given input.
  8. Idiot – Unable to activate the correct outputs for a given input.
  9. Alive – Able to respond to inputs.
  10. Lifeform – Able to modify the inputs and create outputs.
  11. Exists – Has inputs and outputs.
  12. Nonexistent – Has zero inputs and outputs.


  • God-like – God, Q, etc..
  • Intuitive – Any smart woman, mothers, grandmas..
  • Intelligent – Any above average human.
  • Sentient – Common household pets: dogs, cats, etc..
  • Algorithmic – Computers, smartphones, etc..
  • Logical – calculators?
  • Moron – G.W.B.
  • Idiot – D.J.T.
  • Alive – insects
  • Lifeform – bacteria
  • Exists – Nothing unreal exists.

Just some things I was thinking about one day.
Decided to post it to get any constructive feedback.FYI, some things can belong to multiple descriptions. 🙂

From my old blog,

Fix for the message “Windows is still setting up the class configuration for this device”.

So, the Hyper-V Manager stopped allowing me to open the settings on any virtual machine. It would just stay on “loading…”; the cancel button worked but the properties just would not show up.

So, I uninstalled and reinstalled all Hyper-V settings under the Control Panel “Turn Windows features on or off”. No change. The Hyper-V settings still would not load.

So, I checked the device manager. There was a yellow flag alert under one of the WiFi adapters with the message, “Windows is still setting up the class configuration for this device.”.

Okay? Sounds like the network subsystem for Windows got borked. <insert high-tech-sounding cause here>

Tried a disable/enable. No change.

So, I did a network reset. “Settings”, “Networks”, “Status”, scroll down to “Network Reset”.

Rebooted. Everything in Hyper-V works now.. You’d think there would be a more robust system for a feature many people use, right?

How to save some Emergency Drive Space for SQL Server

Running out of disk space on a SQL Server server is something that you should never allow to happen, but it can happen.

If you need to be the emergency Fireman putting out the fire, here is a way to “reserve” some drive space ahead of time. It is literally an 8GB “dummy” file that you can delete at any time without worry – nothing is using the file. Just SHIFT+DELETE it so it doesn’t fill up the Recycle Bin.

fsutil.exe file createnew "Emergency Disk Space (safe to delete).$$$" 8589934592

This will create an 8GB temporary file in the current folder. Adjust the size to suit your future needs.

When you need to reclaim the disk space, simply select the file and shift+delete (no need to send it to the Recycle Bin).

Here’s the gist if you don’t feel like copy & pasting.

Faith in God and Science

I’ve tried to say this before, so please be patient with me: Faith in God and Science are not mutually exclusive concepts. Science, as of yet, cannot prove or disprove the existence of any godlike creature.

Personally, I don’t believe there is an all-knowing white guy sitting on a throne demanding to be worshiped.

What I do feel is, is there are Beings of immense knowledge, wisdom, and compassion that have evolved from their lower lifeforms into what they’ve become.

Who knows, maybe we are our own “gods”? Maybe, if we can survive long enough and learn how the Universe operates, then we can become our own godlike immortal beings with souls.

I firmly believe in the existence of our souls. I believe they exist in an extremely higher dimension than our limited 3D+time dimensions.

I believe our souls interact with and are affected by the quantum realm through the mind. A two-way communication as it were..

What do you think? What are your thoughts on this idea?

How to create unsigned data types in SQL Server

Script to create unsigned data types in SQL Server.

USE [Numbers]

DROP TYPE if exists [dbo].[UInt16];
DROP TYPE if exists [dbo].[UInt32];
DROP TYPE if exists [dbo].[UInt64];
DROP TYPE if exists [dbo].[UFloat];
DROP TYPE if exists [dbo].[UReal];
DROP TYPE if exists [dbo].[ZeroToOne];

DROP RULE if exists [dbo].[UInt16];
DROP RULE if exists [dbo].[UInt32];
DROP RULE if exists [dbo].[UInt64];
DROP RULE if exists [dbo].[UFloat];
DROP RULE if exists [dbo].[UReal];
DROP RULE if exists [dbo].[ZeroToOne];

CREATE TYPE dbo.[UInt16] FROM smallint NULL;
CREATE TYPE dbo.[UInt64] FROM bigint NULL;
CREATE TYPE dbo.[UFloat] FROM float NULL;
CREATE TYPE dbo.[ZeroToOne] FROM float NOT NULL;

CREATE RULE dbo.UInt16 AS @value >= 0;
CREATE RULE dbo.UInt32 AS @value >= 0;
CREATE RULE dbo.UInt64 AS @value >= 0;
CREATE RULE dbo.UFloat AS @value >= 0;
CREATE RULE dbo.UReal AS @value >= 0;
CREATE RULE dbo.ZeroToOne AS @value between 0.0 and 1.0;

List Cached Data Per Object in Memory

	(count(*) * 8) / 1024 as [MB Used],
	object_schema_name( obj.[object_id] ) [Schema Name],
    obj.[name] [tablename],
from sys.dm_os_buffer_descriptors bd
join (
		object_name( p.[object_id] ) [name],
	from sys.allocation_units au
	join sys.partitions p on ( au.[container_id] = p.[hobt_id] and ( au.[type] = 1 or au.[type] = 3 ) )
		or ( au.[container_id] = p.[partition_id] and au.[type] = 2 )
    ) obj on bd.[allocation_unit_id] = obj.[allocation_unit_id]
where bd.[database_id] = db_id()
group by object_schema_name( obj.[object_id] ), [name], [index_id]
order by [MB Used] desc

How to update and query an SQL Queue table with multiple consumers

First, create the test table and populate it with some data. The data itself isn’t too important; we just want a table that will be updated while also concurrently be queried and then deleted.

drop table if exists [dbo].[Queue];

create table [dbo].[Queue](
	QueueID int identity( 1, 1 ) primary key,
	SomeAction varchar(100) not null


insert into [dbo].[Queue]( [SomeAction] )
select top 1000
from [master].[sys].[all_columns] ac
where ac.[column_id] between 1 and 100
group by ac.[name]
order by newid();

Now open a second tab and paste this next query. This one will make random changes to the queue table every tenth of a second, while holding a transaction on the modified rows.

	begin tran;
		with numbers as (
			select top 10
			from [master].[sys].[all_columns] ac
			where ac.[column_id] between 1 and 100
			group by ac.[column_id]
			order by newid()
		update q with(updlock) set
			q.[SomeAction] = convert( varchar(100), newid() )
		from [dbo].[Queue] q
		join numbers n on q.[QueueID] = n.[column_id]

	   waitfor delay '00:00:00.1';
	commit tran;
goto again;

Now, open two more tabs and paste this SQL into each.
Try more tabs if you want to test the behavior.

set nocount on;
declare @queueid int;

waitfor delay '00:00:01';

while exists(select * from [dbo].[Queue] with (updlock, readpast) ) begin;

   begin tran;

	   select top 1 @queueid = q.[QueueID]
	   from [dbo].[Queue] q with(updlock, readpast) 

	   print 'processing queueid # ' + cast(@queueid as varchar) 

	   -- Simulate some slow processing..
	   waitfor delay '00:00:00.1';

	   delete q
	   from [dbo].[Queue] q
	   where q.[QueueID] = @queueid

   commit tran;

Execute all 3+ tabs at once to simulate the load an application might place on the Queue table, along with 2+ queue consumers.

If everything works well, each unique QueueID should only show up once across all running consumer tabs in the results.

How does this work? Here’s my simplified English explanation.

The with(updlock) query hint tells the SQL engine that, “Hey, place some locks on these rows that I’m going to modify inside this transaction! Don’t let anyone else update them!”

And the with(readpast) query hint tells the SQL engine that, “Hey, go ahead and just skip past any rows that are locked. Just show me the ones that are not locked.”

Someone with better wording and the proper terminology (of what the locks are called) can give you a better understanding of what’s going on in each query.

I’m just hoping that these queries (my simplified re-telling) helps you to understand how to modify a queue while also consuming rows from the very same table, but without blocking and without deadlocking.

Any feedback? Questions?
Better practices I’ve glanced over? (Such as setting the isolation level..)