A New Constitution for America

I don’t know the source of this, but I like it.

“We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.


ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.


ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.


ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.


ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.


ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.


ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.


ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services o f other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.


ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.


ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.


ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from!


ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!”

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10 Really Odd Jobs

Heh. 10 really odd jobs.

Bed Warmer – No, not your pet or your husband. There is actually a hotel chain that offers to have a staffer roll around in your bed and warm up the sheets! *!shudder!*

Dog Breath Sniffer – I’d rather be the head quack. Tests how a dog’s diet affects it’s breath.

Gum Buster – Scrapes gum from underneath tables, counters, seats, and sidewalks. Who you gonna call?!

Knife Thrower’s Assistant – Smile while a seemingly sane person throws around knives.

Breath Odor Evaluator – Oi. Does this one even need a description? I hope the ratio of working breath ‘cleaners’ is more than the non working ones..

Pollen Collector – An odd, but honorable job. The pollen apparently can be made into an extract to help allergy sufferers.

Leech Purveyor – Raise medicinal leeches and distribute them out to medical facilities. The leeches do the job of taking excess blood from post-surgical wounds.

Duck Master – Leads ducks in a parade into and out of hotel lobby ponds. The Head Quack, you could say.

Flatulence Smell Reduction Underwear Maker – Design special underwear to guard against the smell of people with gastrointestinal, er, problems.

Mermaid – Requires a year of on-the-job training to swim, lip synch, and flipper around a giant aquarium entertaining audiences with underwater musicals. Must have to be able to hold their breath for two and a half minutes while changing costumes.

Still think your job is so bad, now?

You Know You’re From Idaho When…

Here is some of my top picks from this page. .. all true in Idaho!

  • When the sun goes down you start looking for your coat.
  • You leave your keys in the car and the next morning it’s still there.
  • You installed your new computer using a Leatherman tool.
  • You hear the words “stream” or “brook” pronounced “crick”.
  • You’ve broken down on the highway and somebody stops to help you.
  • Your back yard smells like sagebrush or various animals.
  • You slept through the night unawakened by a siren.
  • You can fish, golf, and go skiing all in the same day if you try hard enough.
  • You talk about a combine and people don’t wonder what you are putting together.
  • Maps and gloves are kept in your vehicle’s “jocky box”.

I do love living in Idaho !

How to Earn $10,000 in One Hour

Time is money. At least that’s what most people are taught.

The problem with this paradigm, the most common, is that if you think you are only worth $50/hour, then you are limiting yourself to only the lesser opportunities. You won’t be on the lookout for $5,000/hour opportunities!

Who determines what an hour of your time is worth?
How many $10,000/hour hours did you enjoy this month? This year? Your whole life?

If you want to earn more, you must first realize to yourself that you are worth more.

People tend to believe that being a salaried employee is low-risk and being an entrepreneur is high-risk. The reality is just the opposite. What job security is there when your boss can walk up to you and say, “Thanks for your years of good work: Bye!”

Your income shouldn’t be based on how much time you spend working. It should be based on the value you provide/create.

Imagine working a day with the very real possibility that you could earn an extra $10,000 that day.

Don’t cap your income potential by thinking in terms of an hourly rate.