Life without Kids. Life with Kids.

child children parent teaching

What is the Grandma-complex?

I see it more and more the wiser I become [hopefully].
People who have children who are afraid to be the parent the child needs, not wants.

The parents are so focused on being the child’s friend. They do not want to ‘scar‘ their child’s childhood by spanking them or raising their voice.

I tell you: learn the difference between discipline and punishment.

Discipline means to teach. To correct your child’s behavior when they learn wrongly. Do this first. Talk to your child with words. Don’t be patronizing. Tell them why the behavior is wrong. Tell them how it makes you feel when they do what they did.

Don’t lie. Don’t insult. Ever.

I feel I shouldn’t even have to say this, but never insult your child. Focus on the behavior. Don’t belittle the child. They don’t have your years of experience.. yet.

Punishment should only be administered when the child does something wrong on purpose. And even then only when you have a clear head about it. Don’t hit your child. (Children can seek any attention without realizing it.) (But I firmly believe a quick swat on the butt will help get your point across.)

A friend a long time ago told me that when he was a child he was always given the choice between a spanking, or standing the corner. He told me that he’d always choose the spanking because it would be done and over with and then he could get back to playing with friends. 😂

Sorry if I rant on this subject too much. (on this blog?!)

But it just bugs me when I see the two extremes [too often IMO]. Child-bearing kids with kids who ignore their children, don’t teach, don’t discipline, just let their clan run amok. Ever hear a parent say something like “But if I don’t give little Suzy what she wants she will scream!”. Lol, seriously?

And the other extreme where if a child looks at the clock wrong they get a finger cut off.
Okay, maybe not that bad. (Just saw that happen on a Medium episode. It was horrible.. Who could do that to a child??)

But still. Back to reality.. A person close to me, who I respect and love, has what I’m calling a Grandma-complex. She wants to be a kind and gentle person just like the Grandma she dearly loves and remembers from when she was a child.
But what this mother does not realize is that her children need a parent, not a friend.
(She also forgets that the Grandma would not have let any child behave the way they sometimes try.)

Yes, I do realize that each child responds differently to each style, but you, the parent, is the one that needs to be consistent. Be loving. Be firm. Set the example.

If anything let the child learn by example.


children joke religion

Dutt Bust aka Subject: FW: What Is Butt Dust??

What Is Butt Dust??

What, you ask, is ‘Butt dust’? Read on and you’ll discover the joy in it!

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister… After a while he asked: ‘Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?’

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. ‘I love you so much that when you die I’m going to bury you outside my bedroom window..’

BRITTANY (age 4) had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she’d have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: ‘How does it know it’s me?’

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. ‘Please don’t give me this juice again,’ she said, ‘It makes my teeth cough..’

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: ‘How much do I cost?’

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried when his Mom asked what was troubling him, he replied, ‘I don’t know what’ll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?’

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: ‘Why is he whispering in her mouth?’

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, ‘Why doesn’t your skin fit your face?’

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: ‘The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt..’ Concerned, James asked: ‘What happened to the flea?’

Kids say the darnest things…..

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget…

This particular Sunday sermon….’Dear Lord,’ the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. ‘Without you, we are but dust….’ He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, ‘Mom, what is butt dust?’

Lil kids.. yah just gotta love them…