HOW IT WORKS
We thoughtfully and artfully produce premium, organic toots specifically chosen for their aromatic fart crafting properties. The gases brew within our own digestive systems until they are deemed ripe and ready for your consumption. We then jar each fresh tortilla of flatulence directly at the source and immediately seal it to ensure the highest standard of stink-ability when you release it at the time of your choosing. From the seat of our pants to the tip of your nostrils, TootCrate is the go to solution for all your fart sniffing needs.
We have varietals of toots for you to choose from, including:
Indian Food Farts
Silent but Violents
Sweaty Jogging Farts
Nothing But Coffee Farts
Beef Jerky Farts
Recirculated Airplane Farts
Sitting On Grandma’s Old Sofa Farts
Is That Someone Cooking Broccoli and Cheese? Farts
It Doesn’t Matter Because You’re In A Natural Hot Spring Farts
I’m Currently In The Automotive Aisle Of A Walmart So Who Gives A Rip? Farts
… and Whatever Else We Come Out With.