[WP] You are a world-class programmer who has died. God agrees to allow you in to Heaven on the condition that you work for him while he debugs the human body. Write the patch notes for the next version of humans. : WritingPrompts

hehe

Homo v. 1.5 release: Homo modernus
New features:
  • Improved and sustained acuity of visual sensory systems. They should no longer wear out as quickly.
  • Female models now have access to facial hair growth.
  • In order to facilitate numerical reasoning, an arithmetic logic unit has been included in the frontal lobe.
Bugfixes:
  • Fixed an issue where memory systems would report a new experience as having happened before.
  • Fixed an issue where the immune system would incorrectly respond to nonthreatening foreign substances.
  • Fixed multiple issues where the immune system would incorrectly attack other native systems, causing significant damage.
  • Fixed an issue where sensory systems would produce unintelligible output while asleep.
  • Fixed an issue where the male reproductive system would identify various foreign objects as being suitable to mate with.
  • Fixed an issue where memory systems would report a new experience as having happened before.
  • Fixed an issue where cell growth restrictions could be ignored, causing uncontrollable cell growth, leading to severe damage to nearby systems and potentially full system shutdown.
  • Fixed an issue in some models where lactase production would continue past physical maturity.
Additional notes:
Multiple bodily systems are no longer supported and will be removed from subsequent models, including:
  • Appendix
  • Wisdom teeth
  • Coccyx
Previous patch notes:
v1.0 Homo habilis[1]
v1.1 Homo erectus[2]
v1.4 Homo sapiens[5]
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Author: Protiguous

C# Software Developer, Father, and seeker of Truth.

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