It is almost impossible for me to say “I love you.” It baffles me that my countless actions don’t tell you I love her. I don’t get it at all. Words are pretty meaningless, my actions cannot be faked or be a lie. Much more meaningful to me.
EDIT: This is a copy and paste, originally a reply to /u/Dahlianeko . I did not expect my comment to garner so much attention, and I believe I was not particularly clear. Because so many have suggested it, I will read 5 Love Languages. I fully admit I may be wrong, and have heard some wonderful counter-points. Now, if I may, let me explain a little better how I communicate.
I made a mistake in saying words are meaningless. Abstract words are meaningless. There are, however, concrete words that, when coupled with actions, become as real as the actions themselves. I use these words and phrases to express myself to my significant other. Although I am in finance, I graduated studying history and linguistics. I have seen communications that, through over-simplified language, was obviously misinterpreted by the other party. Language, to me, is a powerful tool that should not be used lightly.
She likes to have a latte in the morning, so everyday I get up a bit earlier than her and go to Starbucks so that she has one right as she wakes up. When I leave for work I hug her and touch my forehead to hers. As we end the embrace, a pretty short hug for clarity, I grab her shoulders and kiss her forehead where we were touching (incidentally her weird smile and blush is just as cute as the first time). I randomly, and purposefully not near holidays or after fights, send her flowers in the middle of the day. Maybe once every four months. When she is on her period I go and get her a little pack of Turtles (her favorite) without her saying a word about it. I already know she craves them, and only allows herself to eat them when she’s moody.
Those are the regular actions. When we argue, it is usually pretty bad. We both have tempers and seem to feed off each other. Eventually we calm down and speak more rationally. Whoever was wrong, usually both of us, apologizes. I’ve never worried about an argument ending our relationship, but she will sometimes. I always tell her that unless it meant her happiness and wellbeing, I will never let her go. Could never leave her.
Life has, of course, thrown plenty of trials at each of us individually and as a couple. When I have a lot going on she is by my side. Invariably I tell her that she is my pillar of strength and that I don’t know how I got through life before her. When she is facing problems I stand by her side. I tell her I am here to support and protect her. When her problems feel like a mountain of earth falling on top of her, she can rest assured that I will hold her and, for her, on my back even mountains will break. Should God himself turn his wrath on her, He will fail with me in His way. Because I know that if He were against me, she would make Him run in fear (she can be scary at times, but in a good way). When we face smaller problems, I hold her hand. Either telling her that I need her help or assuring her that I am there for her.
I admit I could be wrong. But, can you tell me that “I love you” can convey that depth and truth? Would it not be robbing her of communicating my emotions in full and honest detail? Maybe it can mean that much. Maybe there is something I’m missing. I may well start telling her I love her is so simple of terms. But I will never stop using language that removes all confusion, eliminates misunderstanding, and speaks to how I truly feel about her.