What is the Grandma-complex?

I see it more and more the wiser I become [hopefully].
People who have children who are afraid to be the parent the child needs, not wants.

The parents are so focused on being the child’s friend. They do not want to ‘scar‘ their child’s childhood by spanking them or raising their voice.

I tell you: learn the difference between discipline and punishment.

Discipline means to teach. To correct your child’s behavior when they learn wrongly. Do this first. Talk to your child with words. Don’t be patronizing. Tell them why the behavior is wrong. Tell them how it makes you feel when they do what they did.

Don’t lie. Don’t insult. Ever.

I feel I shouldn’t even have to say this, but never insult your child. Focus on the behavior. Don’t belittle the child. They don’t have your years of experience.. yet.

Punishment should only be administered when the child does something wrong on purpose. And even then only when you have a clear head about it. Don’t hit your child. (Children can seek any attention without realizing it.) (But I firmly believe a quick swat on the butt will help get your point across.)

A friend a long time ago told me that when he was a child he was always given the choice between a spanking, or standing the corner. He told me that he’d always choose the spanking because it would be done and over with and then he could get back to playing with friends. 😂

Sorry if I rant on this subject too much. (on this blog?!)

But it just bugs me when I see the two extremes [too often IMO]. Child-bearing kids with kids who ignore their children, don’t teach, don’t discipline, just let their clan run amok. Ever hear a parent say something like “But if I don’t give little Suzy what she wants she will scream!”. Lol, seriously?

And the other extreme where if a child looks at the clock wrong they get a finger cut off.
Okay, maybe not that bad. (Just saw that happen on a Medium episode. It was horrible.. Who could do that to a child??)

But still. Back to reality.. A person close to me, who I respect and love, has what I’m calling a Grandma-complex. She wants to be a kind and gentle person just like the Grandma she dearly loves and remembers from when she was a child.
But what this mother does not realize is that her children need a parent, not a friend.
(She also forgets that the Grandma would not have let any child behave the way they sometimes try.)

Yes, I do realize that each child responds differently to each style, but you, the parent, is the one that needs to be consistent. Be loving. Be firm. Set the example.

If anything let the child learn by example.

Peace.

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Author: Protiguous

C# Software Developer, Father, and seeker of Truth.

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